今日吃瓜

The first thing you notice about Mitch Brown is how kind he is. And not the 鈥榤edia-rehearsed鈥� type of kind 鈥� just that down-to-earth, human sort of kind.

When we meet for our photoshoot, he walks into the room 鈥� already lit up with shimmering bisexual lighting 鈥� and the first thing he does is crack a huge grin, and tell me how honoured he was that Star Observer wanted to interview him.听

By the end of the afternoon, it would feel less like an interview, and more like mates having an animated chat about life, love, sport, pride, and our respective experiences of bisexuality.

As we sit down, Mitch explains that he鈥檚 still taking in the magnitude of what鈥檚 happened in the six weeks since his story broke.听

A former West Coast Eagles defender, his coming-out story hit Australia like a seismic shift. Because in the entire history of the AFL, not one male player, current or former, had ever publicly come out as gay or bisexual.

And now, here sits Mitch Brown: humble, thoughtful, funny, and brave enough to crack open the silence.

Mitch Brown: the queer 鈥渃ustodian鈥� for the AFL

It all started while he was on holiday overseas with his partner, Lou. He saw a video of some journalists talking about homophobia in sport, in the wake of Adelaide Crows player Izak Rankine being the latest in a long line of players to use a homophobic slur during a game.听

鈥淚 saw this video鈥� [of journalists saying] in 129 years of men鈥檚 AFL, not one player has ever come out publicly as gay or bi,” he explains.

I shake my head. 鈥�129 years is crazy, hey.鈥�

鈥淚t鈥檚 fucked,鈥� Mitch nods emphatically.

鈥淪tatistically, there has to have been queer players,鈥� I say. 鈥淭hey just haven鈥檛 felt comfortable or safe enough.鈥�

Mitch nods. 鈥淵eah, exactly,鈥� he says. 鈥淎nd since coming out, I鈥檝e actually had the opportunity to speak with a few of them 鈥� guys who played back in the day.听

鈥淭hey told me what it was like, how hard it was, and that they wished they鈥檇 had the courage or the environment to do what I鈥檝e done. Hearing that has been really powerful. It鈥檚 made me even more determined to keep doing the work, to help make it safer for others.鈥�

He pauses, thoughtful. 鈥淪o I dropped into the DMs of [journalist] Sam Koslowski. I was like, 鈥楬ey, I saw this. This is who I am. This is the time. I鈥檇 love to chat. I don鈥檛 know how to do this 鈥� can you help?鈥欌��

That message set everything in motion. Very soon after, he鈥檇 done what no AFL player before him had dared:.

鈥淔or me,鈥� he says, 鈥渕y job now is about custodianship. If I can help make the men鈥檚 competition a little bit safer in the meantime, so people can turn up and feel like they can bring their whole selves, feel like they belong 鈥� then I鈥檝e done my job.鈥�

As we talk, his empathy becomes obvious 鈥� it鈥檚 bone-deep. He鈥檚 not performative about inclusion; he truly feels it.

I ask if his goal was to become the role model he himself needed when he was a young, closeted bisexual teen.

鈥淚 often think back to little Mitch,鈥� he says. 鈥淗e was hypersensitive 鈥� really on the lookout for, 鈥業s this place safe for me?鈥欌��

Throughout his younger years and his time in the AFL, he remembers locker rooms and social events where slurs flew casually. 鈥淵ou鈥檇 hear jokes 鈥� you know, a gay person being the punchline 鈥� and that was enough to tell me, this isn鈥檛 safe,鈥� he says quietly.听

鈥淵ou get good at pretending, at suppressing. You learn to protect yourself, even if it鈥檚 bad for you.鈥�

The public response to Mitch Brown coming out

When I ask about the reaction to his coming out, he smiles. 鈥淥verwhelmingly good 鈥� so positive. Especially from the queer community. I鈥檝e felt like I鈥檝e been invited in in so many different ways.鈥�

He鈥檚 been speaking at panels, meeting young queer people, and reconnecting with retired players who never had the chance to be open. 鈥淟ike I said, there’ve been conversations with guys who played back in the day,鈥� he says again, 鈥渁nd that鈥檚 been really special.鈥�

But he鈥檚 candid about the silence from current players. 鈥淏ut there weren’t really too many current players that were prepared to publicly support the queer community when I came out,鈥� he says. 鈥淵ou know, they鈥檇 click like, a retweet maybe 鈥� but not much more. I got some really amazing personal messages privately 鈥� but part of me was like, you know鈥� stand up. It would鈥檝e been nice during this massive moment.鈥�

He shrugs gently. 鈥淚 know there鈥檚 still fear there 鈥� fear of being associated with queerness. But that鈥檚 what needs to change.鈥�

Bi now, gay later

We dive into biphobia, and Mitch doesn鈥檛 hold back 鈥� he may have only been out publicly for a few months, that doesn鈥檛 mean he hasn’t felt the effects of biphobia his entire life.听聽

鈥淧eople say that,鈥� he sighs. 鈥淥r they assume my partner and I can鈥檛 be monogamous. They just can鈥檛 get their heads around it.鈥�

鈥淥h yeah! I鈥檒l never understand why people refuse to believe bisexuality is real 鈥� it鈥檚 not rocket science,鈥� I laugh. 鈥淗ave you heard the term bi now, gay later? I鈥檝e copped it, but Bi+ men tend to cop it so much more.鈥�

鈥淵eeeep,鈥� he says, rolling his eyes sarcastically. 鈥淚t鈥檚 like, I know myself. I鈥檓 definitely bisexual. I鈥檓 self-assured. I know what I love, and I鈥檓 not scared of it.鈥�

He shakes his head, half-laughing. 鈥淚t鈥檚 so weird 鈥� people can accept a straight man being attracted to multiple women, but not a bi man loving one person while still being attracted to more than one gender!鈥�

When he talks about his partner Lou, his whole face softens, and he speaks with such tenderness and true adoration.听

鈥淪he provides a safe space for me to share anything,鈥� he says. 鈥淗er reaction is so safe. She鈥檚 been incredible 鈥� she鈥檚 been just as big a part of this as me. I鈥檓 just the one that gets to talk.鈥�

Their relationship, he says, feels stronger than ever, and Lou has been his rock through this experience. 鈥淪he鈥檚 seen every part of this. The good, the scary, the vulnerable. And she鈥檚 just been solid.鈥�

Mitch Brown isn’t standing out, simply 鈥榮tepping up鈥�

Another thing I notice about Mitch is how eager he is to learn 鈥� he doesn鈥檛 pretend to know it all, nor does he want to. He鈥檚 genuinely excited to be invited in by the community, and wants to take every opportunity to listen and learn.听

At one point during our chat, I use the term 鈥榗ode-switching鈥�, and Mitch enthusiastically asks if I could explain what it meant. I explain it鈥檚 when queer people shift parts of themselves (like appearance or manner of speaking) depending on who they鈥檙e around 鈥� for safety, comfortability, mental wellbeing; all sorts of reasons. He nods thoughtfully. 鈥淭hat makes sense,鈥� he says. 鈥淭here鈥檚 maturity to that, I think.鈥�

That humbleness runs through everything he says. I ask how he feels about people making snarky comments online 鈥� about him just wanting his 15 minutes of fame, for example.听

鈥淚 believe that I鈥檓 not standing out,鈥� he explains. 鈥淚鈥檓 just stepping up to be with the queer community, and with the advocates and allies who鈥檝e been fighting in this space for so long.鈥�

鈥業鈥檓 proud of who I am 鈥� the good, bad and ugly鈥�

As we near the end of our chat, I tell him how well he鈥檚 doing 鈥� how grounded and clear he seems for someone who鈥檚 been through a massive life shift just a handful of weeks before.

He laughs and thanks me. 鈥淭his has been such a nice interview,鈥� he says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 been like therapy 鈥� helping me reflect on such a hectic time.鈥�

鈥淸Since coming out] I鈥檓 talking better. Thinking better. I鈥檓 less anxious, I鈥檓 meeting amazing people. It just feels like I can finally be me.鈥�

He grins. 鈥淚鈥檓 proud of who I am 鈥� the good, bad and ugly. The people who love me for that? They鈥檙e my people.鈥�

Brown was chiselled, physically and emotionally, through his formative years within a sporting code defined by heteronormative (and often, reductive) ideals of manhood. And now, he is helping to reshape what masculinity truly is; showing Australian men that vulnerability can be powerful, queerness can be strength.

And all by standing up, and verbalising who he is. While he may be a 鈥渃ustodian鈥� for the next queer generation, Mitch Brown鈥檚 coming out is undoubtedly a powerful moment; queer Aussie history in motion.

And he鈥檚 the right man for the job. He’s still playing the role of defender 鈥� but now, a defender of the next generation of queer footballers, and a champion of Bi+ excellence. And he鈥檚 overjoyed to be stepping up to stand with our community.

Queer joy, in pink, purple and blue.

All photos: .