今日吃瓜

鈥楤isexuals, Get Ready: The Mummy 4 Is Coming鈥� is the December edition of our monthly bisexuality column,听Give It To Me Bi.

We don鈥檛 mean to alarm you, but you鈥檙e going to want to be sitting down when you hear this. Our favourite Academy Award-nominated 1999 action-adventure film The Mummy is returning, with the news recently breaking that The Mummy 4 is in final talks for film production.听

The best news? The human embodiments of a 鈥榖isexual awakening鈥� 鈥� Rachel Weisz and Brendan Fraser, have all but confirmed they will be in the film.听

If there is one cinematic universe that has fed the Bi+ community more than a bottomless brunch with mimosas, it鈥檚聽The Mummy.听

Seriously though,听The Mummy聽wasn鈥檛 just a movie 鈥� it was a formative bisexual moment聽 disguised as family-friendly adventure cinema.听

Brendan Fraser swaggering around in sandy linen looking like the patron saint of bisexual himbos?聽

Rachel Weisz in that nightgown reading ancient Egyptian like it鈥檚 foreplay?聽

Ardeth Bay showing up with that smudged eyeliner and 鈥淚 ride at dawn鈥� energy? Please. It was a buffet. And we were hungry.

There is no monosexual explanation, for the fact that every character in that film was hot in a completely different way.听The Mummy聽didn鈥檛 give us a love triangle 鈥� it gave us a love hexagon and said, 鈥淐hoose your fighter.鈥� And bisexuals said, 鈥淵es, one of each please.鈥�

And now, a whole new generation of bicons, and those who are questioning, will have the opportunity to experience the rite of passage that is The Mummy, and we fear the world is simply not prepared for this level of bisexual power.听

Oh, you thought that rates of multi-gender attraction were increasing fast enough already? Think again 鈥� this might cause those numbers to explode. Are we being dramatic? Absolutely.听

Either way, you will find the Give It To Me Bi team there on opening night, popcorn in hand, cheering as bisexual cinema rises once more from the sand dunes.