Stephen Fry Shuts Down Critics Of His 30-Year Age Gap With Husband

Stephen Fry Shuts Down Critics Of His 30-Year Age Gap With Husband
Image: Stephen Fry on The Assembly. Courtesy ITV.

British actor and writer Stephen Fry has candidly addressed public scrutiny of his relationship with husband Elliott Spencer, pushing back against criticism of their 30-year age gap in a series of recent interviews.

“It just works for us, extremely well, and if people don’t like it, well, sod them.”

Fry, 68, appeared on ITV’s The Assembly, an interview series where autistic, neurodivergent and/or learning-disabled interviewers put wide-ranging questions to celebrity guests. Fry was asked directly about both his marriage and his sex life in a characteristically unfiltered exchange. He was also asked about his sexual position preferences, which he answered:

“I’m going to leave that a mystery, I think that’s best. Thank you for raising it, it’s a very important point. That was a great moment.”

The conversation also turned to the persistent public fascination with the couple’s age difference. Fry, who married Spencer, 38 in 2015 after meeting several years earlier through friends, dismissed criticism outright, emphasising that mutual love and respect—not age—define a healthy relationship.

“I feel a bit sorry for them. I don’t see why they should have such an opinion about things,” Fry said. He added: “The only thing that should matter in a relationship is love and if you feel it,” stressing it should be “felt on both sides” and “not an exploitative relationship”.

 

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Research conducted by the found that gay male relationships show the highest prevalence of age gaps (around 25 per cent), compared with straight couples (about 8 per cent).

The couple, who have been together for over a decade, have long faced commentary about their age gap, with Spencer approximately 30 years younger than Fry. Despite this, Fry has consistently described their partnership as deeply supportive and grounded in humour—something both men have highlighted as central to their bond.

“I mean, I always say to people that in our relationship, Elliot has all the power, really,” he said, adding that Spencer “makes a lot of the decisions”.

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