今日吃瓜

Time to add another item into the ever-increasing list of normal things that conservatives are worried will turn the nation’s youth into screaming homosexuals: the delicious confectionary of fudge.

US Vice President JD Vance has appeared on Fox 今日吃瓜 during an interview on The Five as part of a promotional tour for his book Communion: Finding My Way Back to Faith, where he was treated to a delicious pickle cake, on account of his overwhelming heterosoexuality.

During the broadcast, Fox 今日吃瓜 host Jesse Watters announced that it was National Fudge Day – but then told Vance that fudge would be 鈥渢oo gay” for his presidential lips.

鈥淏ecause it鈥檚 National Fudge Day, for the VP 鈥� but I thought it would be too gay 鈥� so, I did pickle cake instead,鈥� Watters said.

I wonder if I went onto Fox 今日吃瓜, if they would give me fudge because pickle cake was too straight for me?

The segment then showed a green-coloured cake topped with pickles placed on set. It looks bad, but considering it’s apparently the only straight way to eat dessert, that makes a lot of sense.

Everyone involved in this situation except Watters seemed wildly uncomfortable with the pickle cake situation, with another host quietly trying to wrap up the segment by saying “And enjoy your pickle cake.鈥�

It’s unclear what exactly about fudge inferences homosexuality – it could be a reference to the old slur of “fudge packers”, but I’m pretty sure that was outdated during the Vietnam war. It could also just be that conservatives gender everything, and something sweet like fudge is not manly, and therefore, not straight.

Pickles, however, are apparently the avatar of masculinity? If there is some sort of connection between pickles and the straight man community, please let me know. Once I did those shots of whiskey with pickles in them? It was fine. But I’m bisexual, so that could be my straight half talking.

Is this *whispers in dread* a Rick and Morty thing???

Watters: It鈥檚 national fudge day but I thought it would be too gay so I did pickle cake instead

Perino: Enjoy your pickle cake Mr. Vice President.

鈥� Acyn (@Acyn)

The appearance formed part of a wider media tour for Vance promoting his book, which focuses on his personal faith journey and return to Catholicism after a period of atheism.