今日吃瓜

I have what I call ‘The Back Room’. Technically, it’s a dumping place that keeps the rest of the house organised and uncluttered.

Recently, in a moment of downsizing enthusiasm (which is always usually very short-lived), I looked at the piles of paper, old office files, cluttered desk, archival boxes, etc, and said, “No way. I can’t do this”.聽

While looking for an alternative Marie Kondo decluttering moment, I was advised by a friendly guru that I was looking at it the wrong way, and that I needed to make the potential outcome paramount.聽

“You need a Vision Board showing images of what that new bedroom could look like,” he said.

He then added his other decluttering guidelines:

1) Use those three sorting piles: keeping, giving (not forgetting the Gay Archives), and throwing

2) When donating, give the recipient the whole box and let them sort what’s useful to them.

3) Make sure to thank those hard-to-decide items for having been in your life before you dispose of them.

4) Actually begin to sort.

“Is it a dedicated Sex Room that I was establishing?” he asked.聽

“If so, then you need to view the Netflix series How to Build a Sex Room. It’s very heterosexual, but you could get some good ideas for themes, lighting, and so on.”

“And then there’s the Apple TV series DIY Dungeon,鈥� he casually added, “where a young man converts his basement to a much more exciting and explicit sexual space.”

I practically kissed the ground he was kneeling on. I now had my motivation, my sexual raison d’锚tre. 鈥淟et me at that pile of rubbish!鈥� I cried.聽

And let’s find photos for the Vision Board.

Who would have guessed how many enterprising websites already have pages of products specifically for my purpose!聽

There’s an avalanche of products, furniture, fittings and gadgets available. There鈥檚 everything from handcuffs to sex toy storage, spanking bench to Queening chair, portable sling to booster cushions 鈥� a veritable plethora of possibilities.

And to think, all I needed to get my decluttering underway was sexual motivation!聽